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Memory

My hair has grown so long
It reminds me that you’re gone

You knew me as a short blonde
My natural brunette flows now

The change representative
Of our timeline separated

I wonder sometimes
What you’d look like

If you were still here with me
If death hadn’t separated us

My life has changed a lot
But you know this already

You’ve been cheering me on
I’m having a hard time hearing

Today I remembered
That last shopping trip

You drove us there
With your new car

That backup camera
Was a new feature

You didn’t use it
I laughed at you

“Don’t turn around, Mom!”
“Use the backup camera!”

We both burst out laughing
I wish I could hear it again

One more time
Just once

The longer time goes on
The harder it becomes

To visualize your face
Knowing it didn’t change

Stuck in time
Forever fifty-six

I wish you were here
To see your grandkids

To see what I did
Without you here

It wasn’t easy
It is still hard

But you give me strength
Through every single sign

Keep them coming
Please, always

I look in the mirror
Your eyes look back

We shared that trait
I’m thankful for that

But it’s not the same
It never will be the same

A temporary placeholder
Until I can see yours again

Today was difficult
I miss you so much

So I will cry it out
And write to you

Like I used to
Only different

Have a hot shower
Wash away the tears

And try again tomorrow

© 2019 KayNotto
All Rights Reserved

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