Spooky season is upon us.
Truthfully, I enjoy every season.
Each has its perks, and its drawbacks.
Autumn is great because I love Halloween, and it reminds me of my days spent in university, shopping for cute fall clothes to wear.
That in-between season where it’s not too warm for boots, and just chilly enough for a cute scarf.
It also reminds me of when my mother and I would get ready for a new tv show lineup.
One of my favorite memories is watching Ghost Whisperer with her, with pumpkins adorning our steps as I walked in after a long day of classes.
God, I miss those days.
We would eat dinner, and then my mom and I would curl up on the couch to watch “our shows.”
Ghost Whisperer, we both agreed, was fantastic because Jennifer Love Hewitt was gorgeous, and the show had a perfect balance of whimsy and realism.
“Imagine that actually happened? Talking to spirits like that?” we would say to one another.
Well, it kind of does.
After my mother died, I could not wrap my head around life, or the point of it.
It was decidedly too painful to have loved to such an extreme, for it to just extinguish overnight.
Her death led me on a path of discovery, and it was only a short time after she passed that I felt assured that we don’t die.
Only our bodies do.
Now, it was not like in the show; no spirit mom coming to me for assistance to cross over, but rather an enlightening and peaceful experience wherein I felt validated in that our spiritual energy actually lives on after the death of our bodies.
It is the reason I am still here, the reason I decided not to commit suicide, and the reason that I have children after years spent in the healing process.
Having kids, I decided, would be a factor wholly dependent on my spiritual findings.
After all, why would I subject little humans to the harrowing experiences that I had just endured?
It felt too selfish, too painful.
I remember one of the first times I had a sign come my way, in the spiritual sense.
After deciding to trust in my gut feeling, I asked my mom to show me something more concrete.
Before she died, we had always discussed sending one another a sign, fleetingly.
But it was time for her to make good on our promise.
“Please, I need something real. Not abstract,” I asked.
Driving one night, on the way to see a spiritual advisor, I was in tears thinking about her.
All of a sudden the song Mom by Garth Brooks came on the radio. I had never heard it before.
I almost pulled over as I was sobbing so hard.
You can listen to it here if you’d like.
There was no doubt in my mind it was her doing, and it was one of the first signs I had accepted as real.
Later, I learned, that spiritual energy has the easiest time interacting with like-energy and frequencies.
Radio and television are two of the easiest pathways in communication with spiritual energy.
Most often, they are also the most ignored.
Because spirit is without the density of body, it manipulates these mediums easier than others.
So, I accepted that sign, saw my spiritual advisor who (without my telling her) expressed how sorry she was for the loss of my mother.
She assured me she was okay and relayed some very clear and precise messages.
Two acts of confirmation in one night, and I decided that I would be more crazy to discredit them than I was for believing them.
So, I did.
Later on, I learned to read tarot cards after becoming impatient with translating signs in obscurity when trying to communicate with her.
Tarot proved to be an enlightening experience, and I eventually opened myself up to reading them for other people with success.
Next week I will publish my second monthly tarot reading, and I appreciate all of the feedback I have received from my clients over the years.
It baffled me that I was able to read for other people, and helped to solidify my personal beliefs.
It is a skill that amazes me still, and I enjoy reading to assist or entertain other people these days.
I am hoping to improve upon the readings each month by developing my skill while providing messages of substance to those who want them.
Today, as I sat in my car wracked with anxiety before another appointment, I turned on the radio.
A song came on that always brings me back to a vivid memory from when my mom dropped me off at a party a few years before she died.
“You’ve got it wrong. To prove I’m right I’ll put it in a song.“
I had been praying about the health issues that my mind cannot seem to escape from dwelling upon.
She was assuring me I was fine, and the doctor assured me that I was shortly after.
As this pregnancy continues, my stress is beginning to ease up, and I am once again entering a clear position of mind to be able to hear my mother again.
After all, a silent mind is a requirement when communicating with such a subtle entity.
She continues to prove me wrong when I doubt her, while proving me right in that our love has outlasted even the most illusory experiences of severance.
Death is nothing but a temporary displacement between souls that are eternally intertwined.
So, I will write, because I know that perhaps as you search the ends of the earth for your sign, I will hope you accept this big, bright one, from me.
© 2019 KayNotto
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